Brain Dump

I wrote the following on Wednesday at one of Nerissa Nield’s Writing it up in the Garden writing groups. It was basically free writing which I then did some editing of. Enjoy!

“I left my prompt in the other room.” That is what Nerissa said before the start of group today. The other participants thought that would be a good poem title or a good prompt in and of itself.

It works for me because I feel very unmotivated today. I am not sure what to do with myself. My malaise probably stems from my anxiety about the first draft of my manuscript and how to proceed but I can’t seem to figure that out. Since I feel overwhelmed, what I would really like to do today is not write anything, not think about anything, and just watch episodes of Catfish. Don’t judge.

I should be using this time to write my blog but I’m not sure what I want to write about, another dimension to my lack of motivation. Instead, I’ve decided to do what Noom Mood calls a brain dump which is my daily activity for this week. I didn’t do my lesson for Monday or Tuesday, so, I have to do three today.

You are supposed to write or speak whatever is on your mind for two minutes. Because I missed two days, instead of the two minutes, I’ve set the timer for six minutes so it’s a three time brain dump. Having explained all that, I have now come to an impasse. I am not sure that I would want to read this to the group but why not? It’s a safe space and I often feel that I write differently from the rest of them anyway so I might as well read this. We’ll see if I have the courage to do it when I get to it in an hour and 3 minutes.

Three minutes and 41 seconds left. The other thing I really want to do besides watch Catfish is do work on the house since the renovated space is now available to us. We have done some work but there feels like there is so much more. I do know that it will all get done. We just have to keep doing it.

Our house renovation is one topic that I could write about for my blog post. I have several potential posts in my draft file in WordPress. One is about adjuncts and how poorly they did during the pandemic and just how desperate their lives are in general. Another is about crime at the University of Chicago. For that topic I could discuss what it’s like when an elite school finds itself surrounded by neighborhood it considers undesirable.

Historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs) have been under attack for several weeks now. In my chapter on African American faculty wives clubs, I looked at a few of these schools. Without consulting my draft folder, I can’t remember all the other topics. I do plan to write about Jill Conway, but I can’t do it yet because I haven’t finished reading all her memoirs. I read True North and The Road from Coorain is on my current reading schedule.

I finished How to Make a Slave and Other Essays by Jerald Walker, which I really enjoyed. He has a very subtle way of looking at the microaggressions that people of color face daily. How to Make a Slave reminds me of How to Be Black by Baratunde Thurston which was very funny, recounting his attempts to lead his life as a black person in America.

The Jones Library chose Jerrold Walker’s book for its’ On the Same Page Amherst. The library is hosting several events related to the book which I hope I will be able to attend. At this point of my mammoth brain dump, I am not sure how much time is left because I have to log back into my phone. After three frustrating tries, I am in and just as I did that the time was up.

This is the best I can do for a post. If you want to read posts about any of the topics I have discussed today, please let me know.

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